isnt that what you said? what you thought this song meant?

I think I want to be wanted. That's the problem here.


Baby we were born to run.
-- Jenmurdaaaaaaaaa.

HELLO, HELLO, HELLO?

My back has been ridiculously shitty lately. I have no idea what's going on with it but I found out yesterday that my piriformus muscle is fucked. It's apparently called piriformus syndrome and what it is is like.. you keep this one muscle, aptly named the PIRIFORMUS muscle which is a huge muscle in your hip and you keep it like INCREDIBLY tight, ALL the time. Therefore that causes horrible pain in your hip and sciatic nerve and down your leg and stuff, and guess who got stuck with that one? ME. So stupid. Seriously. I'm going to cut my legs off.
In other news, I feel like I haven't seen my friends at all the past couple weeks. I think it's been because of my back, and I'm not going through that again. So I need to get on the stick and get better.
TEAM BINGO! needs a reunion, asap.
I watched so much Bravo! today. Seriously. It is literally all I watch anymore. Today it was Make me A Supermodel. Yesterday it was Top Chef and the day before it was Real Housewives of Orange County. So good. hahahaha.
I also need to make a trip out to Pittsburgh soon, well whenever I can. Jon Davis and I need to hang out. Stat.
Also, I somehow end up always watching the finales of reality tv shows. I never watch them during the season but I always tune into the finales. I'm not sure why. i.e. I'm watching the finale of the celebrity apprentice right now, and I don't even like the celebrity apprentice. In fact I don't even like Donald Trump. So what the hell? I don't know.
I think I'm going to start recording my dreams in here because I've been having the weirdest dreams ever. It's hard to explain. It's like I'll dream about things I'd do in real life but completely distorted like me doing things I'd never do. Kind of like a fight club type thing? Living vicariously through another person but in this case it's dreams. I'm not talking to that extremity but it's just so weird.
I am listening to a nickelback song right now.
I HAVE OFFICIALLY LOST MY GODDAMN MIND.


And we danced on into the nightttt.
-- Jenmurdaaaaa. <3

oh hai

No but seriously, I absolutely love LOLCATS. I look at them and laugh like uncontrollably when I'm like sitting here by myself. It's insane.
Also, Dave Letterman is talking about Osama BinLaden and the tapes and whatnot he releases and like, weren't we supposed to pick him off like 10 years ago? Unbelieveable.
Also, I'm mad tired right now, I want to go to sleep but my back's been killing me and I haven't been able to at all. Like I'll literally sleep for 50 minutes, wake up and just sit in pain for the next 9 hours. It's so fucking gay. That's all.
I have diff. Eq. at 8 tomorrow morning. I have a test in a week in that class. That's gonna be ridiculous. I don't want to fail, however, i got a B+ on my problem set for that so I'm in alright shape.
In other news, I watched Britney Spear's return to television tonight. She was a bible toting hooker on How I Met Your Mother. It was pretty funny, you know.
ALSO my new favorite show, well old favorite, they just stopped it because of the writers strike is MOST DEFINTELY 100 PERCENT Big Bang Theory. It is seriously so funny. It's all about science and stuff, I think that's why I find it like 100 % hilarious. Like I was watching it before and they're throwin out these science jokes and I was like literally DIEING. So funny.
I'm rambling.
Rambo.
Bimbo.
Bamboo.
BooBoo.
Broseph.
Stephanie Tanner.
Tan.
Night.
Hold on!
^ If a psychologist examined that it would probably prove that I'm crazy.

That's all.
-- Jenmurdaaaaaaaa.

encapsulated

I was looking about 10 minutes ago at old pictures or just pictures I came across you know and I don't know why but it's so hard for me to see the way my life used to be. When you see your life encapsulated in a picture or set of pictures with different people in different places, laughing hysterically, being ridiculous, I'm trying to think of an easy way to explain this and I can't, but like it makes me miss it so much. Not miss it in the sense that I miss living that life because I don't really.. I like my life now better than I ever have.. but miss it in the way that I wonder how things would be if some things never changed. Where would I be? Who would I be? Would I still be a chem major? Would I look like I do? Not that that even effects those things but in a way it does. I wish I could make more sense out of this, it makes sense in my head haha.
In other news, I went to see my Aunt Florence in hospice tonight. She has cancer of the esophagus and it spread to her liver and she's just not doing well at all. I volunteered to take my nana to see her because that's my nana's favorite sister and my mom etc. couldn't go because she's sick. So I walk in with my cousin's Alison and Sarah who I don't get to see all the time because we're all at school and whatnot and Alison was like prepare yourself because it's probably going to be worse than you expect. And it was. Her skin was just so yellow and she was so skinny and couldn't eat. But all that put aside my 7 of my other cousins were there and I love to see my family but she was SO HAPPY to see everyone there. Seriously. She kept saying "I'm so happy everyone's here and I'm so happy and I love all of you, you're all my grand children". This made me really sad, this lady is on the verge of death and all she wanted was to see her whole family there and we were but that's probably the last time I'll see her. It just makes me want to cry because when I see her and my nana together I know how they were once always joking around and stuff and my nana tries to make her laugh and everything and I don't know, it's just sad. The other thing about my Aunt Florence, we always used to have thanksgiving at her house and everyone would get together and it would be ridiculous. We just don't do that anymore and its depressing. Also my Aunt Florence always used to tell me how pretty I looked( I don't care how cliche that sounds she's really the only one who ever told me.) even if I looked like visible crap, which is usually. I'll always remember that, forever. I was glad though that the last time I saw her, albeit probably the last, she was happy and laughing and joking. That's how it should be for everyone. And a lesson? Don't smoke. Seriously. Smoking is disgusting and you're visibly killing yourself. And you smell like cigarettes all the time, attractive right?

It's easter tomorrow, I hope that it's a good one. I hope my back feels okay, its been crappy the last couple days. Also I hope that I dont have a repeat of last easter where I choked on coffee and sprayed it all over my nana and then threw up. It was one of the shining moments of my whole life .hahahahahah. I will never forget that either.


-- Love.
Jenmurdaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

HEY.. HEY GUYS.

My myspace blog that I kept up for a year had its anniversary yesterday or two days ago or something. I thought that was pretty sweet, but I stopped updating that and now I guess I'll just work on this. Sunday is Easter, It's good friday today. This year is FLYING seriously. I finally have some direction too, SO LETS KEEP IT THAT WAY. I got free Rita's yesterday it was so quality. I think that things taste a lot better when they're free. My brother's learning to play guitar and I'm jealous of how good he's getting in like two weeks. Christ. I think this summer is going to bring things that are unexpected, and the good kind of unexpected and I for one cannot wait. I wish I was going to Earth Crisis tonight. That's all.


<3
-- Jenmurdaaa.

The sickness is a song by Disturbed.

it is really really really windy. windy mitchell.




-- Jenmurdaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

scooters, vacation, fall.

Fall.
Fall into.
Fall into what.
Fall into what you.
Fall into what you belive.
Fall into what you believe is.
Fall into what you believe is for.
Fall into what you believe is for you.

I am so confused.


-- Jenmurda.

Egg salad

I hate egg salad. I also hate macaroni salad with eggs. And potato salad with eggs. Just incase anyone was wondering. I'm asssuming you were, you know. I think I just hate eggs in general. This is all stemming from the fact that I'm watching Ham on the Street with my dad right now and the episode is all about eggs and some hoe just put blueberry, cherry, cream cheese, bacon ad cheddar cheese in an omelette. I think I threw up.
In other news I started school again today. It was retarded as usual. AAAAAND I just lost all interest in writing anymore in here.
So that's all.


-- Jenmurdaaaa.

For Real Bros

I've been adding bro to the end of every single sentence I've said for the past two days. Seriously. Its probably getting relatively annoying haha.
Last night was so ridiculous I can't even put it into words. The pictures and videos pretty much explain it all. And I need to buy a wii, NOW.
Kelly and I went to Cebulas for pizza tonight, I love their pizza but I seriously think that it gave us food poisoning because we're both mad sick. Ugh.
I don't know what to say except for that it's been one hell of a spring break. My dad ended up having heart surgery in the beginning of the week but he feels good now. It was just really scary. I have the best parents ever, regardless of if they're strict and whatnot I don't care. I love them. I am so greatful for them I can't even express.They're so supportive of anything that I want to do, I don't know what I'd do without them<3.
And then my Aunt Florence is in the hospiteal and they don't know if she's going to make it because she has bad alzheimers and cancer. It really never fails. March comes in like a lion and it sure as hell better go out like a lamb.
My back has been really good lately, I hope that typing this isn't going to jinx it hahah. I just want to be better, it's so frustrating.
I'm going to bed now because daylight savings time started today and the clocks roll back an hour, I hate it.

EVERY HOOD'S THE SAME.

-- JENMURDAAAAAA.

well well well..

WHAT A SERIOUS PILE OF RUBBISH. FORREAL.
this week is awful.

My papa said come on home..

So basically, it's March already. When did that happen? Seriously? This year is flying already.
I played bingo last night with tia jonny nolan courtney and mike, it was intense like usual. Tia and Courtney both won and so did this fucking fantastic old lady that was sitting next to us. She was hilarious forreal. She ended up winning the jackpot which was hilarious because she was talking about how she used to win all the time and she hadn't in a really long time. So i was happy for her. She told us about her grandson and stuff too and how he was really messed up with things I guess and he joined the army and it straightened him out. She thought it was awesome that most of us were straightedge, I think it's awesome too haha. So afterwards we went to the casino and gambleddddddd. I think its out of control that there's a casino like literally 15 seconds from my house. I never thought I'd see the day haha I haven't won yet but I'm thinking relatively soon. Which would be sweeeeeeeet.
Tonight I'm going to Barnes with Kelly and Matt. I haven't been there a lot lately so I'm pretty pumped. I want a marshmallowmocha. and it better be good. That's all I have to say.



WHO THE FUCK YOU THINK YOU FUCKIN' WITH IM THE FUCKIN' BOSS. -- rick ross<3

-- JENMURDAAAAAAAAAA.