Rick Ross..

I think that Rick Ross does guest vocals on every rapper alive's tracks. Forreal. Also, what the hell is a mayback? Maybach? haha I have no idea. I should probably look that up.
In other news, school is going really well this semester. I like all my classes I think it might be because I only really have like four, but whatev. I've lost all interest in law though, seriously. I was so dead set on being a lawyer and then I took this class and I'm like, HELL NO BROSEPH, not for me. So I'm basically right back where I started. Who knows where I'll end up. I'd love to read this in 10 years when I'm living my life and see what I wrote now. I hope there's a way that I can, or maybe I should just keep a regular journal. I'm lame. haha
I cannot wait for summer and everything that comes along with it. I really wanna go swimming and go for walks and sit on my deck and tan and wear tshirts and flipflops. Ugh. haha Only like 4 more months.
But then again, some of my best friends are leaving me this summer. They're moving to different places and that's going to suck big time. I'm gonna miss them a lot. I don't wanna lose touch with them either because I have that tendency and I'm just not going to let it happen this time. Yes.
In other other news Kelly and I are going to Syracuse this weekend hopefully to hang out with Jon and go to his show and stuff. That should be a goood timeee. I havent' seen him since June and Kelly and I on a road trip is going to be 100 percent HILARIOUS. Holler.
In other other other news I made rice krispie treats tonight and they are the best things in the entire world. I'm a rice krispie treat champ.


ERRYDAY I'M HUSTLINNNNNNNNNNNNN'.

-- JENMURDA. <33

Everything I've ever wanted..

I just have to say. Sometimes everything you think, isn't EXACTLY what it seems, but better.
i want it.


everything i've ever wanted
sits within my reach
it's just a matter of time and distance
and what you've begun to preach.
hold it in. for as long as you can.
breathe out when you feel doubtful.
this is it.
the one chance we have to make it right.
everything i've ever wanted.
and nothing that i need.

Whats up with that?

I haven't been myselg at all lately. I don't know why either. I just know I don't like it. Christ. =/


-- Jenmurda.

Laughed until we cried..

I just listened to a song by Jason Aldean called Laughed Untinl We Cried. It's country. I like country but regardless, it made me cry. I don't cry easily but this one hit a nerve. It talked about being in high school and like I don't know just going on vacation with your friends and being happy and laughing until you can't anymore. I miss those days. Things were a hell of a lot easier. Things have changed so much since then. I've changed so much, it's unbelieveable. My life is much better now though so I guess I don't really miss it that much. Then the song talked about this grandfather and the family gathering around the christmas tree and everyone telling stories and stuff and laughing really hard and it being the grandfather's last christmas. So then I thought about my family and the rare times when everyone is all together and how much fun we have and how my nana is always the center of attention. I just wish those times would happen more often. You know? I don't know, this is depressing.
I really want to go shopping and buy new clothes but I don't have a lot of cashmoney for the 99 and the 2000 right now. Fuck. aklsjdlakdjalkdja.
I just got really annoyed.

-- Jenmurda.

Suppose I never ever met you..

I'm going to pick up my bass again and start to play. I miss it and I think I have a lot more motivation to actually get somewhere with it this time. We shall see, since I'm basically teaching myself, this should be a mofuggin' trip. In other news I had my first biochem test of the semester on Monday. It was hard, but not ridiculous like I expected, plus I studied a shit ton for it. I really like biochem and Saladino he's a nut forreal. With the most ridiculous new york accent in the history of accents. I like to see people like him because it gives me hope that I can maybe get somewhere someday you know? He didn't know what he wanted to do when he was growing up and neither do I so maybe I'm not as behind as I think that I am. Maybe I'll be a biochemist? I doubt it but you never know. In other other news I love Regina Spektor. I don't know why I wasn't into her before, but I really dig her stuff. I found another grill in my house today, I plan on using it. I love grills. and weaves. and ridiculousness. I think im going to make a list of things that make me happy.
THEY ARE THE FOLLOWING:
chemistry. elements. best friends and knowing who they are. ridiculousnesss. being creepy. the movie twister. hair dye. laughing until i cry, and doing so often. interesting conversation. baking. thunderstorms in the snow. snow in general. lightning. rain. liking clouds more than sun. weather in general. beards. chinese food. video games. times between friends when everything just clicks. tickling. driving with the windows down. lots of blankets. cute text messages. text messages altogether. long distance friendships. taking back sunday. painting. writing poems that dont make sense at all. the first week of warm weather after winter is over. differential equations. rap music. stuntin'. wilford brimley. iced tea. abstract art. hoodies that fit just right. taking notes when handwriting is perfect. when you think that everything has fallen apart around you and then things start to fall back together. carl sticks. soup. new jeans. swimming. sunglasses. when people give you chances you know you deserve. cutlass cieras and buick centuries and chevy celeb's. a mandy moore lifestyle. headbands. gorilla zoe. shoes that look GOOD. noodles. casual flirtation. acronyms and abbreviations. CHUCK NORRIS. being approximately 90 years old. new friends, old friends. when things change for the better. pizza. rockband. taking mass amounts of pictures. MASTODON. the word HOLLER. captain ron. all metal all the time. sing a longs. long nights. when a best friend is just like you. jinxes. halloween. morgan freeman and things narrated by him. when the sun is so bright its blinding. the smell of summer. when lyrics describe a situation to a t. expressions. ritas italian ice. ring tones. charcoal drawings. my parents/brother/nana. when my aunts and nana pretend they're gangsta. supreme court justices. hugs. =)

a couple two tree..

aksdjalskjda. There are so many things I want to write about but the ideas won't leave my brain. I got a job, I dyed my hair and I'm going for chinese food in about a half hour. I have a headache.
Every unattainable goal.
I have the funniest friends in the history of existence. Seriously.
That's all for right now.


Flats look like flapjacks, PANCAKES? he ain't know.

-- Jenmurdaaaaaaa.

RIDICULOUSNESS

Seriously, I'm a sucker for anything ridiculous. like this: http://www.whiskerclub.org/news/images/beards.jpg
I have a bad beard addiction. I'm seriously in love with them. I wish I could grow one and it wouldn't be socially unacceptable.
I need a Walter P. Chrysler Chrysler 300 Signature Series. FORREAL.

I don't want to write anymore.

I'm going to listen to Croxley at breakfast tomorrow, if you get that reference, i love you.

-- Jenmurdaaaaaaaa.

SO ICY

When i was driving home tonight it was so icy, I literally almost died like 41 times, give or take. Also, I got lost in like fucking, Kingston of all places. How is that even possible?
That's about all I have to say. I have a headache and I'm going to go to bed.

finito.

MONEY CARS AND CLOTHES, ATTRACT ALL THE HOESSSS.

-- Jenmurdaaaaaaa.

Let me see your hips swing

I can't stop listening to the Juno soundtrack. It's so fucking good. Kimya Dawson's lyrics are so like.. I don't know it just seems like stuff that is utterly ridiculous but relatable at the same time. On another note, Juno was the cutest movie, seriously. I loved it so much. Michael Cera is ADORABLE. The dialog and the whole concept of the movie was just awesome. So I'm gonna suggest that if you haven't seen it, GET ON THAT because you're missing out. big time.
I went out for dinner tonight with megan and amanda and their friend don. It was ridiculous as usual. You knowwwwww. I can't wait to go to the beach with them later in the summer, I can just imagine how insane thats going to be. forreal. I need some insanity in my life.
That's all.

-- Jenmurdaaaaaaaaa.

LOL valentine LOL

This could not be more true. hahahaha. Seriously.

Your Candy Heart Says "Get Real"

You're a bit of a cynic when it comes to love. You don't lose your head, and hardly anyone penetrates your heart. Your ideal Valentine's Day date: is all about the person you're seeing (with no mentions of v-day!) Your flirting style: honest and even slightly sarcastic What turns you off: romantic expectations and "greeting card" holidays Why you're hot: you don't just play hard to get - you are hard to get

What Does Your Candy Heart Say?

I'll write more later, I'm gonna take a naaaaap.

I'm in love with Big Black from Rob and Big. He needs to be my valentine.

-- Jenmurda. ftw.

Sup 8am?

So basically, I'm at school. It's approximately 8:21. My class normally starts at 8 on the dot but due to a god damn OVERFLOW of e-mails from my Shakespeare class I missed the memo that we didn't have to be here til' basically 8:40. Therefore making the class only 35 minutes. I'm fuckin pumpedddddd. Not pumped to be here early because my back kills, as usual but pumped because i only have to sit through 35 minutes of differential equations instead of an hour and 15 minutes. hahaha I just re-read that and realized how sad that is haha it's the little things in life. Like chuck norris, and iced tea, and being able to sleep without having steroids keep you up or just being able to sleep without being in pain for that matter since it's been about 8 months, give or take. In other news I have a Dr's appt. today with a new doctor. Hopefully he can prescribe me an anti- inflammatory or something and I can start to go back to physical therapy and get this shit better. Fo'realreal.

If ya scared go to church, this rap shit is easy every beat I get i MURDAAAA'.

-- jenmurda.

SOMETHING JUST ATE BARRY CARTWRIGHT.

It was superbowl sunday today. The giants won. It was ridiculous and I'm pretty sure that big mike ran out the front door after they won and screamed at the top of his lungs NEW YORK GIANTS, HOLY SHIT. haha It was one of the funniest things i've ever seen. I'm happy that he was happy though, I like when other people are happy.

I haven't seen my friends in about two weeks because I've been basically paralyzed with this back crap. I'm on steroids for it now. They keep me up all night. It's the worst feeling. I hate it. I miss them a lot haha after all the changes that took place over the end of last year etc. I'm so happy with the people I'm friends with now. Things happen, people change, things change you can't help it. I think though that I finally found out what real friends are. Maybe I knew all along but I just never realized, you know? Sometimes you're blinded by so many things that it's hard to see things for what they really are/could be. In short, I'm liking 2008 so far, except for this whole herniated disc thing but I'm hoping that goes away soon, I know it won't but I can always hope right?

Also, I'm in love with aliens and UFO's. They showed this chemist woman on the special I was watching on the history channel. She was ridiculous, and was in a lab by herself with all her chemicals and her tools. It was insane. She was doing UFO research, I know I said in my last post that I couldn't see myself in a lab working with chemicals but if it was for UFO research THAT'D BE A TOTALLY DIFFERENT STORY. seriously. I'd end up like the dude in independence day with the crazy long gray hair that's all 'they don't let us out much'. I need to find area 51. I need to find the lochness monster. I need to get out of this country and find things. I need to explore. WHO WANTS TO GO?!

On a sidenote, I just had an hour long text jamboree with Jon Davis of Evolution quotes. It was insane. He needs to not live so far away. Pi7Etc.

That picture is the periodic table in my room. It's the love of my life.

Last time I checked Mill Creek Acres was hood.

-- Jenmurdaaaaaaaa.

so anything else new?

Did you ever wish that your life took a different course of events? like.. am I really where I'm supposed to be right now? Something is nagging at me and telling me that I'm not. Every chemistry major I've ever met is SO INTO science and knows precisely what they want to do after graduation and has their life all planned out, and I'm just not and I can't force myself to be either. A lot of my interests lie outside of science, like I love photography however cliche that sounds and I love fashion, however unbelievable that may sound. I love advertisement and I also love philosophy. I just love all forms of art in general including writing. In short I'm thinking that chemistry isn't really where I'm supposed to be, I'm not meant to work in a lab all my life. I'm not going to discover the next medicine you're going to see on your shelves. That's just not me. Sometimes I wish that it was and other times I'm happy with what I am and what I'm interested in. I also thought i wanted to be a lawyer but now I don't think I'm feelin' that either. I just don't know what to do. I wish I wasn't three years into this already. I wish I didn't declare a major right off the bat. I'm just asking for a do-over.
On top of that, my back is regressing to where it was in October. If it gets to there I'm going to die, seriously. I won't be able to handle it for another semester. I scraped through last semester on my knees, I still got good grades though, god knows how. I'll probably be looking at surgery if this doesn't get better and I LITERALLY can't handle that. I dont have 5 weeks of recovery time, nor do i want a gaping hole cut into my back and a piece of my spine removed.
Again, I'm asking for a do-over.


- Jenmurda. xxx.